How to start talking the talk

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Are you speaking from who you used to be or are you using language that shines a spotlight on who you are becoming?

A moment that really stands out in my life, is when I told my personal trainer about a friend who’s on her journey to become a licensed trainer & said “She’s a gym person.”

Subtext: My friend is so dedicated...unlike me. 

I almost thought I grew a third eye with the way my trainer looked at me & said “You’re a gym person!”

There I was, in the gym sweating my ass off, smelling like a teenage boy, & I was still using language of who I used to be. Of how I used to be. Not the language of who I am being. Who I am becoming.

And I didn’t even realize it cause it was habit. A habit that denies the energy I’m putting into creating what I desire.


Your internal & external language plays a crucial role in how you see yourself. A crucial role in building your self-confidence & keeping yourself motivated.

For the 3 days, pay attention to your self-talk & conversations. When you’re making negative statements, pause, & write them down. Make sure to write down the exact phrases & words that keep coming up.

After a few days, study your notes & think back to the situation. Note the key words you kept saying or thinking. Reflect on what you were feeling that caused you to think or say those things. Is there a pattern? Were you doing the same things each time? Good! You can start brainstorming ways you can change what or how you’re doing something to decrease your negative self-talk.

One of the fastest ways to change up your negative thoughts is to replace them with positive affirmations. Taking control of negative thoughts & replacing them with a positive stream of consciousness helps you improve your self-image & gently shifts your focus from what’s wrong to what’s right.

Come up with at least one affirmation to replace the words that are affirming who you used to be. When you notice those faux phrases or words pop up, I want you to stop, breathe, & repeat the affirmation at least three times. Say it out loud if you can but if that’s not possible, say it silently. The goal is to massively increase your positive internal & external talk.

Affirmation Prompts
I have…
I am…
The truth is, I am …

If you're blocked, start with I am becoming exactly who I want to be or I’m learning to love myself.

No one is a failure until that is the only definition of themselves that they are willing to see within.
— Srividya Srinivasan

Sometimes, we are our own worst enemy. We knock ourselves down & it’s time to stop being so destructive to ourselves.

It’s safe for you to see yourself as smart, strong, & worthy. The first place you have to work on to create those beliefs is in your mind.

Sign up for the Confidence+Courage Audio Training below to finally get the tools you need to unhook from self-doubt & awaken the confident woman within.