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What do you think about when you hear the phrase self-love? Self-care?
I don’t blame you if you just sighed loudly & an impressive eye roll happened. But why are these such buzz phrases?
They didn’t come out of nowhere. I propose that we’re desperately craving the permission to put ourselves first again. We’re awakening to a deep knowing that we’re depleted & our self-care, our self-talk, our self-image, & our self-esteem are taking severe hits.
Self-care is an act of self-love.
You know those beliefs you have that convince you you don’t have the time to treat yourself? Whose voice is that? Whose standards are those? Is it true that self-care is frivolous or has to be expensive?
How is not prioritizing self-care strengthening your self-doubt?
When you’re exhausted, when you're overwhelmed, & when you’re frustrated numbing out or hiding under the covers are pretty standard go-to’s.
But they don’t build up your resiliency. They feed the voice of doubt.
“But I’m drained!” you’re yelling at me right now. “I don’t have time to devote to self-care!”
SELF-CARE IS ESSENTIAL
According to Statistic Brain, in the United States, over 77% of individuals report becoming physically ill due to high amounts of stress.
We’re expected to be available via email or text or on social media all the time. While eating right, cooking, cleaning, taking care of our family, maintaining friendships, taking care of our aging parents, meditating, journaling, getting up at 4am, doing our morning pages, etc etc etc.
You feel like you’re spiraling & you’re hanging on for dear life. You’re exhausted. You’re constantly stressed. Your inner critical voice is having a field day.
Self-care is essential to restoring your balance. It’s the culmination of activities that keep you healthy, refreshed, and vibrant.
Pampering yourself is an inward display of self-love and value. It boosts confidence while restoring energy.
It’s not a magical cure. But nothing is. It’s one tool that you can use to help you come back to center.
DIFFERENT APPROACHES TO SELF-CARE
Self-care can be as simple or complex as you want. The key is to make a spiritual experience out of these simple moments.
When I say spiritual, I mean connecting to the part of yourself that is focused on loving yourself & grounding back to peace.
Put your cell on airplane mode and turn off your computer, TV, everything that keeps you plugged in to the outside world. Sit in silence for 15 minutes. If you start getting anxious, try repeating a mantra to yourself such as “May I feel peace. May I know peace. May I be peace.”
Put on your favorite song & dance. If you live with roommates, are shy, or a private person, do it in the bathroom, basement, attic, or garage.
Pick a spot outside - a park bench, a spot on a hiking trail, the beach, any spot in nature & just sit for at least 10 minutes. Listen to the natural sounds. Allow yourself to let them to hypnotize you. Quietly thank nature for the soundtrack.
Take your dog for a walk & enjoy watching her live in the moment. Can you focus only on her joy? Her sense of curiosity? Can you be present to just this moment? Thank your dog for being a part of your peace.
Ask a few of your closest friends what they love about you. Don’t return the compliments. Just say thank you.
Build a Support System
One of the best ways to build up your self-love is to tap into your circle. Reach out to them & ask them for their help. Use them as your allies to help keep you accountable for making your self-care a priority.
Declutter Your Social Media
If your self-love is at a level one, scrolling on social media may not be helping. All those pictures of people living their best can drag you into the comparison game. If you find yourself making comparisons between your life and those of your friends, then it's time to mute or delete people you follow on social media. This can increase your joy by allowing you to be more present & create those moments of connection to your inner self.
Look in the Mirror
I learned about this form a former coach who learned it from Louise Hay. Stand in front of the mirror and look yourself in the eye while repeating your chosen affirmation.
I’d start with “I deserve this time. I’m worthy of this time.” You can use any affirmation that focuses on loving and accepting yourself.
Repeating positive affirmations while you look yourself in the eye can be a healing experience that reminds you that you deserve love, space, & time.
You don’t have to keep sacrificing activities that refuel you and help you feel like yourself again.
Use your new-found self-awareness to give yourself permission to take the time to feel joy, peace, connected, & grounded.
Quiet the all the shoulds & the not enough voices & find yourself again.
That’s where your power, your heart, you true self lives.
Sign up for the Confidence+Courage Audio Training below to finally get the tools you need to unhook from self-doubt & awaken the confident woman within.