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What’s weighing on you?
Have you seen Marie Kondo’s Netflix show, “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo”? She’s a decluttering expert whose philosophy is primarily only keeping items that spark joy.
We live in a society that pushes us to keep buying more. To keep accumulating more. To keep doing more so that we can be happy & fulfilled.
But there comes a moment when we realize that all of our clothes, shoes, things we buy on sale cause the deal is too good to pass up are overflowing from our closets, attics, basements, & garages but that happiness & fulfillment aren’t present.
It’s not just the stuff that clutters your physical home to sort through. What about the life experiences that were tough, relationships that drain you, beliefs & behaviors created to cope that exhaust you are cluttering your internal home?
What comes along with a cluttered mind & spirit? Doubts in your choices. Worries about future. An inner critical voice that keeps you stuck.
Day-to-day life hypnotizes you into a rhythm of going to work, paying bills, replying to emails, taking care of your home & your loved ones with little focus on moments of reflection, peace, & fulfillment. Honestly, joy isn’t usually at the forefront of our minds. It probably feels like a luxury. Almost flighty. I’ve had women argue that they don’t have time for joy. It’s not a priority.
Embracing a philosophy of joy promotes rich life experiences & memories. It’s about making happiness a top priority by getting rid of the thoughts, behaviors, & things that no longer serve you so that you can focus on what enriches your life.
DECLUTTERING YOUR MIND
Acknowledge Your Negative Thoughts
Some people say not to focus on your negative thoughts. There’s definitely a threat of falling down the rabbit hole of negativity if all you do is focus on your negative thoughts.
But ignoring them is like trying to convince yourself that you’re happy when you’re annoyed.
It may work for a moment but most of the time you’ll feel like a liar. It’s never worked for me or my clients. But usually we aren’t aware of how negative our thoughts can be. So, you have to gather info. You do that by becoming aware of how often you’re having them & how they’re making you feel.
Challenge Your Negative Thoughts
These negative thoughts are powerful. Sometimes they’re loud but other times they’re a steady whisper. But becoming more aware of them & deciding to let them go already makes you more powerful.
A simple but effective question to ask yourself is “What can be done about this now?” You might realize that this question is enough to dial down the intensity of the emotions caused by the thought. From this state, you can decide if you can simply let that thought go or if you need to sit down & come up with a plan to deal with the situation causing this thought.
This is is a tough one. Between the people in our personal lives & our work duties, the idea of saying no might seem like a fantasy or a daydream. The fear of letting people down or having our boss’s think we can’t handle our responsibilities is almost too much to bear.
But when you can’t give your best or when you end up sick cause you tried to be all things to all people, you hurt yourself & the people you’re responsible for or to. And you give your self-confidence a swift kick in the ass.
Here’s what I invite you to do: Create a list of your responsibilities in these areas of your life - finances, health, career, relationships, & community obligations. Ask yourself these questions:
Is it time to remove some of these responsibilities from my plate?
Are there others who can help me?
Can these responsibilities be streamlined?
How can I add joy to the responsibilities that I can’t release?
DECLUTTERING YOUR SPIRIT
You’re not a superhero
Women are so often driven to be all things to all people. The feminine energy that flows through you drives you to care, to nurture, to support, & to want to take away any pains or stress from the people you care about. Add on the fact that you’re socialized to be able to handle all things even if you really can’t.
But you’re often not honest about your limitations. Not cause you don’t want to be. You’re driven by your desire to help in any way you can & can feel guilty if you don’t do it “perfectly.”
Where are you holding onto the idea that you should do more? If you can, without sacrificing your mental & emotional health, then I encourage you to do those things. But if you can’t, what can you do to make peace with that truth so you can create energetic space for more joy?
I’m assuming you’re a part of the Life Remix Coaching community cause you want to expand, to grow your mindset, & to make peace with your past while creating the confidence to create the life you want. But you can fall into the trap of focusing on the gap between where you are & where you want to be.
I say that all the mini-steps you take on your way to the big goals is where you should split your focus.
It’s the morning when you finally don’t hit the snooze button fives times in a row. Or when you have 3 back-to-back meetings & manage to focus on your breathing when you feel yourself stressing out. It’s when you choose to follow a stretching video instead of a hard workout cause your body is telling you to slow down.
When you celebrate these milestones you invite joy back into your life. Over & over again. That’s how it becomes normal for you & hopefully, the feeling of joy becomes so familiar that it becomes habit.
Decluttering isn’t only about getting rid of things. It’s also about putting things in perspective.
Sign up for the Rewind+Rise Video Workshop below to help jumpstart your internal decluttering. You’ll leave with a vision for the next 30, 60, or 90 days that you’re proud of & excited about.
You’ll use the power of your heart & mind in a way that loves who you are, shines a light on who you want to be, & from that place you’ll create goals that factor in all of you - the stuff you love, the stuff you don’t, & the woman you want to be.