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How often do you find yourself saying or thinking quotation marks "When I finally get the perfect job I'll be able to XYZ" or "If I could just win the lotto I'd finally be happy!" or "If my manager would just quit doing XYZ I'd finally be happy!"?
Each time you have those thoughts you give more & more control of your life over to some external thing or person.
What is that ever present feeling of knowing life could be more fulfilling & looking outside yourself for that fulfillment, doing to your self-confidence? I want to invite you to the open to shifting your perspective. when you feel like nothing is in your control your left exhausted, unmotivated, & in a state of hopelessness.
Let's talk about five ways you can use to begin unhooking your power from something or someone.
1) Have an effective decision making process.
When you're faced with a decision such as staying at your shitty job or starting the sometimes unsexy & long process of looking for another job, do you make the decision that will benefit you in the long run? Do you know how to find the courage to move forward in a way that will uplift and empower you? People will say that's not practical. I hear you but how practical is it to continually live with that nagging feeling of craving more and ignoring it? No matter what choices you've made that you wish you hadn't you aren't doomed.
2) Regularly strengthen your belief in yourself.
The reason why I always harp on journaling, prayer, meditations is because I believe that deep reflection is how we start to separate out there from what's in here. The more you know you the better you get at identifying you are and what would work best for you.
3) Know your inner critic.
Your inner critic is that critical voice within that lives in all of us and unchecked she runs wild. She might be loud or quiet, manipulative or deceptive. But without truly engaging with her and learning from her you'll think you, the logical & compassionate you is running the show. But that may not be completely true.
4) Clearly communicate your thoughts, needs, & desires.
How do you feel about someone who shares her thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires openly, clearly, and effectively? Are you envious of her or are you in awe of her me? Me? I'm in awe. It's because that type of grounded communication shows how comfortable she is with showing others how she values and honors herself.
5) Make decisions with integrity.
Have you ever spent time with kids & see how quickly they learn to hide, deny or lie? It's not because they're bad but because they quickly realize that when they don't live up to expectations they might be labeled as bad, be punished, & feel shame & pain.
Often we take that fear into adulthood and make excuses as to why we don't do as we say or avoid difficult conversations or situations cause we still don't know how to deal with that shame. But each time you don't honor what we say or do, whether it turns out how you wanted to or not, it chips away at how you feel about yourself.
When we don't learn how to take responsibility for our words and our actions we deny ourselves the gift of growing from our mistakes.