When being stubborn keeps you stuck

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Are you in a situation in your life right now where you’re being stubborn?

Are you refusing to call a friend you got into an argument with that you deeply miss but refuse to be the one to “give in”?

Do you know that you need to cancel your cable subscription to save the money you need to take that writing class to help you finish your book?

Are you avoiding signing up for the premium subscription of that dating website but you believe that you shouldn’t have to pay to meet your future love?

I had a friend who had a really unhealthy relationship with her manager. My coworker was so bubbly, friendly, and enjoyed her job. But when this new manager was hired it took the wind out of her sails.

She stopped enjoying coming to work, she went from wearing bright colors to darker colors, she was less upbeat. Even though she was miserable & people encouraged her to move on her mentality was “I’m not going to let this manager push me out.”


Have you ever been in a situation where you thought I’ll show them or I’ll stick this out?


But while my friend had this mindset she was depleting herself - her self-esteem was taking a hit, she was stressed out cause she never knew what kind of mood her manager was going to be in, we spend most of our time at work if you work a full-time and so she was spending most of her time in a waking hell of emotional suffering.

She could’ve looked for another job while employed but she really had this strong conviction of “She’s not going to push me out!”


But what was on the other side of her stubbornness?

What is on the other side of your stubbornness?


The need to be right? The need to feel in control?

She couldn’t change how her manager treated her or others, she knew HR would have her manager’s back so she tried to regain some of her power by being stubborn.

Eventually she got laid off & spent a few months resting, recovering & realizing how drained she had become.

Her family finally told her that when she was still working she had become snappy and impatient at home. They didn’t tell her while she was working cause they were trying to be supportive but they suffered, too.


I’m guessing but I believe that underneath her need to not get pushed out was the fear of the unknown.

Things were changing - she’d have to go back into the job force after more than a decade; she’d have to put herself out there, she’d have to learn a new company culture, she’d have to lose her seniority.

But what if she used her stubbornness to take action that put her mental & emotional well-being first?

How would her experience at work have changed if she was actively looking for another job and staying focused on what she was going to achieve instead of what she was losing?


When you actively start paying attention to why you’re refusing to take action even though you know you should you have the chance to create what I call Fu*k it energy.


Fu*k it energy has power behind it - there’s a momentum that you can feel in your body. It’s like a battery surge & can lead to not only massive action but swift action.

But not the kind where you walk out of your job even though you no savings but the kind where you come to believe that now is the time and you deserve better, you deserve to feel good and get what you desire.

But you don’t have to wait for the lay off or the missed promotion to move forward. Become aware that you’re constantly frustrated, angry, or drained from fighting this battle and transform your thinking so you know & believe there is more to life than the constant discomfort and constant battle.

Being stubborn can be a good thing. Being stubborn can be a bad thing. It just depends on how you use it.
— Willie Aames

Where are you being stubborn right now & it’s costing you your peace?

What is it that you’re trying to gain by being stubborn?


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